The Choice
by Redbud-Tree
Summary: Sonic is faced with an impossible choice. Save Amy Rose, and subject himself to a life as a cripple, or to survive unscathed and let her die. Sonamy, to different extents.
1. The Choice

**Author's Note: **Welcome to my second foray into Sonic fanfiction, this time with a dark, and, admittedly, somewhat twisted little one-shot. I apologize in advance if anyone is severely out of character (Most notably Robo Knux as my only knowledge of him comes from Sonic R and Netraptor's wonderful stories.) and if there are any grammar mistakes and such. My beta reader is currently living it up on the east coast for her vacation. Also, the concept of this story is_ vaguely_ similar to the short story 'The Lady or the Tiger?" If you've read it, then I'm sure you already have an idea of how this one-shot will end. If you haven't, go read it, it's an excellent, thoughtful piece and can easily be found on any number of websites. That's just about it, so. . .

**Diclaimer: **None of these characters are mine, and shame on me if I ever tried to claim them as my own . . . Although I do wish I owned a Metal Sonic plushie . . .

**-The Choice-**

It should have been a simple rescue, really. Amy had been kidnapped in the middle of the night and was being held captive in, of all places, an abandoned warehouse. Sonic didn't think it was a dangerous enough mission to bother waking Tails for backup, and Knuckles was simply out of the question for something this simple, due to his obligations as Guardian.

He had known what to do, and thought he was prepared for everything Eggman could possibly have lying in wait for him.

He was wrong.

Of all the things he expected to find in the warehouse, a metallic copy of Knuckles and a pair of capsules that looked like giant soap bubbles were not among them. It is pointless to describe the events that occurred, but suffice it to say that shortly after Sonic entered the warehouse, he was encapsulated in the second of the two giant bubbles, the first of which held the captive Amy Rose, still in her nightgown.

Although the bubbles appeared to be insubstantial, they were quite strong enough to hold the weight of the two hedgehogs. In addition to this, they provided no traction for Sonic to run, and proved impervious to both his spindash and Amy's Piko Piko Hammer. Sonic and Amy were both utterly trapped. Robo Knux, standing between the two bubbles, seemed inordinately amused by the hedgehogs' attempts at escape.

"I wouldn't bother trying to escape any longer. As you can see, your attempts are quite futile," the robot said, and paused for a second to allow Sonic an attempt at speech. "Also, as you may have noticed just now, the capsules are completely soundproof. You can hear everything I say, but I am incapable of hearing you. So there is no point in mouthing off at me, Sonic."

Sonic simply glared at the robot Echidna, and then made a face. Robo Knux did not react to this juvenile action, and only seemed to be that much more self-satisfied. Stalking around the bubbles in the manner of one who knows he's already won the war, he continued speaking.

"I'm certain you realize that I can easily kill the both of you at any time I so choose. But there's not very much fun in that, now is there? Therefore, I have a proposal that will make this evening so much more interesting – and Sonic, you might want to stop fiddling with your ears and pay attention, as this concerns you."

Sonic yawned, continuing to finger an ear, apparently unconcerned with the underlying threat in the robot's words. Amy also appeared to be ignoring the robotic Echidna, keeping her focus on her hero, whom she was sure would be able to save her before the night was through. Secretly, however, both hedgehogs were listening intently, knowing that somewhere in Robo Knux's long-winded speech was the point he was trying to make, and quite possibly, what he intended to do.

"What I shall do, Sonic the Hedgehog, is offer you a choice: Your life, or the life of Amy Rose," the robot paused to point a metallic hand straight at the blue hedgehog's nose, and continued. "Now, don't think that this means I plan to _kill_ you, as much as that would please both myself and my master. You see, I don't require you to _die_ for Amy Rose – the choice you would make in that situation is, to use a rather crude expression, as plain as the nose on your face. No, this choice is _much_ more interesting."

Sonic was obviously paying attention now, and both he and Amy had anxious looks growing on their faces. Robo Knux relished those looks.

"You see, I have recently perfected a unique skill: I can successfully sever a person's spinal chord without damaging anything other than that person's vertebral column. I'm sure you realize what that means." Judging by Sonic's horrified expression, he did. Robo Knux continued, "Imagine it! Mobius' greatest hero unable to do the very thing that defines him! A very fitting fate for the one who has been a thorn in my master's side for so very long."

"Of course, if the thought of living out your life in a wheelchair frightens you," Robo Knux shrugged, "I'll just kill the girl. It doesn't really matter to me either way. I'll give you one minute to think it over, and then you will make your choice. All you have to do is point at the one you wish to be spared – yourself, or poor, sweet little Amy Rose."

With that, the robot turned his back on the two. Sonic stared at nothing in particular, his thoughts whirling at light speed. Live out his life as a cripple? That was his worst nightmare! To never again experience the adrenaline rush that came with running at impossible speeds; to be dependent on others for simple activities; to lose the very freedom that he lived for – there was just no way he could do that!

But then . . . what about Amy? Sonic looked over at the other hedgehog, who had tears in her eyes and seemed to be pleading with him, trying to make him understand something – what, he didn't know. He couldn't let that robot kill her! Sure, she was annoying at times, and was extremely dangerous with that hammer of hers, but she was really a nice girl . . . and a kind of pretty one, too, when she was strangling him. She didn't deserve to die; Sonic couldn't knowingly be the cause of her death – he couldn't live with the weight of something like that on his conscience. The thought of such a thing chilled him to the core.

Sonic sighed in frustration - Robo Knux was a sick and twisted robot; there was just no way _anyone_ could make a decision like this, let alone in a minute's time! As if on cue, the red robot turned back around, his eyes glowing in an almost triumphant manner.

"Time's up, hedgehog. Make your choice. If you don't, then I'll simply have to kill both of you right now, and that would ruin everything."

Sonic's eyes widened in fright, and he did the only thing he could do with no backup on the way, and no other options.

He chose.

**-End-**

**Author's Note: **Yes, that's the end. No, I won't tell you what happened. Whether someone miraculously came along and saved them, Sonic wound up paralyzed or Amy wound up dead, well, that's all up to you. Robo Knux is a sadistic little Mecha, though, ain't he?


	2. Incubus

**Author's Note: **Okay, I know I swore I would never continue 'The Choice', but I have left too many people here upset by my lack of a true ending, so here I am; giving you not one, but _three_ different endings. They're all completely different, aside from the intro paragraph, as they are all what I think honestly could have happened. I worked hard on all three of them, but I think you'll notice which one I really put the most effort into. I apologise in advance for any OOCness, and I am also warning you that each of these, to some degree, is Sonamy. This one is only slightly Sonamy though, so it's easy to overlook if you want. Again, I apologise for any character inconsistencies.

**Disclaimer: **Not mine, people - although much loved and tortured!

* * *

Sonic watched at Robo Knux drew ever closer to the bubbles where he and Amy Rose were imprisoned, unable to act, unable to speak, unable to do anything other than quake in terror at what was to come. The sadistic robot was obviously enjoying himself, taking his time, savoring the moment as he moved toward the bubble that held his next victim, relishing the fear that was reflected in the captive hedgehog's green eyes. Sonic shuddered, closing his eyes and folding his ears so he wouldn't see the sick pleasure in the electronic eyes, and so he wouldn't hear the sound of metal piercing flesh. 

He woke up screaming.

**Incubus**

For one terrifying moment, he didn't know where he was, and had to fight his instinct to flee, to escape from the monster that he felt sure was out there, waiting to take him down. Then, his awareness returned and he noticed he was lying on a white couch in a pink living room: Amy's house. This was good; if he was at Amy's, it meant everything was all right and he had nothing to worry about. He started calming down and began trying to figure out exactly what he was doing here.

"Sonikku!"

And there was Amy, looking perfectly healthy and extremely worried. She was dressed in her usual outfit, and was holding a breakfast tray heaped with gradually cooling food. Sonic opened his mouth, intending to ask Amy what was going on and why was he asleep on the couch in her living room, of all places?

He never got the chance, as Amy practically dropped the breakfast tray on the small pink and white coffee table in front of the couch, and tackled him. She clung to him as if he would slip away if she loosened her grip by the slightest margin, and clung so tightly that Sonic was honestly afraid she might crack some of his ribs.

"A . . . Amy?" He managed to choke out, trying to pry her off before she suffocated him. That was when he noticed that she was shaking.

"Oh, Sonikku – you had me so worried! Tails and I tried _everything_ and you wouldn't wake up! We couldn't wake you up – you just kept screaming and screaming! It was so _horrible_. I thought you'd just lie there and scream and scream and never wake up again! How could you _do_ that to me?"

She was crying now, burying her face in his chest and sobbing her heart out. Sonic wasn't sure what to do – he'd never had her cry like this while clinging to him before – so he settled for awkwardly putting his arms around her and letting her cry herself out, trying not to think about how uncomfortable he was with her crushing him or just what the female hedgehog was getting all over his fur.

After about ten minutes, Amy Rose finally began to calm down, and soon after her sobs dies out and she pushed herself off of Sonic, who watched her warily, half expecting her to latch on to him again. He sat up, and both hedgehogs simply sat in silence for a few minutes. Sonic, curiosity and impatience eating away at him, finally reached over and took her hand, _'Just to get her attention,'_ he told himself.

"What happened, Amy? Why am I here . . . and why are you so upset? You're acting like I almost died or something!"

Her eyes widened, and tears sparkled in them again. Sonic wondered if he'd said the wrong thing. "You mean you don't remember?"

He shook his head, releasing Amy's hand and rubbing his forehead with it as he attempted to recall what might have led up to him lying on Amy's couch.

"Not really . . . I remember going to rescue you, but Robo Knux was there, and . . . and he . . ." Sonic paused, then continued under his breath, "But that was just a dream, wasn't it? Just a stupid nightmare." He looked over at Amy, hoping that the pink hedgehog would have an explanation for him. She seemed to be relaxing a bit now, and looked less worried. However, there was still an indescribable emotion in her eyes, one that seemed to make her look far older than she was.

"You did rescue me, Sonic, but Robo Knux wasn't there. It was just one of Eggman's usual traps . . . or at least that's what it seemed like."

"That still doesn't explain how I ended up at your house," Sonic interrupted, impatient and tired of waiting. Amy opened her mouth to continue, but found herself staring at Sonic's stomach as it let out a loud, embarrassing gurgle. Sonic blushed, and Amy, looking relieved at the distraction, grabbed the breakfast tray and stood up.

"Oh, this has all gotten cold – let me go heat it up for you; you sound like you're starving!"

She hurried off, but only made it a few steps before Sonic had caught up to her and stood in front of her, blocking her path. His eyes were narrowed and Amy could plainly see that he was waiting for an explanation.

"What _happened_, Amy? I'm going crazy with not knowing; you don't have to act like I'm going to eat you if you tell me, you know," he winked, trying to encourage her. "I'm not _that _hungry, after all." Amy sighed and dropped her gaze to the tray of food her held in her arms, not wanting to meet Sonic's eyes at the moment.

"While we were escaping – you were carrying me- Eggman . . . he shot darts at us, and one of them hit you in the left shoulder. You acted like you didn't feel anything and I didn't think anything of it, but right after you brought me back home and put me down, your eyes rolled up into your head and you collapsed." Amy paused, took a deep breath, and continued, "I brought you inside, took the dart out and did what I could to treat you, but you didn't wake up. Then . . . then you just started _screaming _and it scared me so much; I called Tails and he came straight over. We . . . decided it was better not to move you, so that's why you're still here."

"Go on . . ."

"Anyway, he took a blood sample, and it turned out Eggman ad injected you with something called 'Incubus Serum'. It's something that G.U.N. used to use on the worst criminals. It . . . knocks the person it's given to out and traps them in their worst fears until they either die or go insane," she shuddered. "They stopped using it a few years ago but somehow Eggman got some of it. It . . . you almost _died,_ Sonikku!"

Sonic shivered, too. So _that_ was why he'd dreamed such a horrible dream, and why it had seemed so real. Still, it couldn't have been as bad as Amy Rose was making it out to be; after all, he was fine now, wasn't he?

"But I'm awake now, and I'm not crazy, so I guess it didn't work like it was supposed to," he stated, attempting to calm Amy, who was rapidly losing control again.

Amy shook her head, still staring at the tray, "That's only because Tails found the cure. He gave it to you last night, but you still wouldn't wake up!"

Sonic blinked, "Last night? Just how long was I out?"

"Two and a half days, Sonikku – for two and a half days you just wouldn't wake up," she took a deep, quivering breath before continuing, " . . . and . . . you wouldn't . . . stop . . . _screaming_! It was _awful! And it's my fault, Sonikku! **It's all my fault!**"_

Sonic wasn't sure how to react. Amy was standing there, screaming, crying, and blaming herself for something that he didn't think could possibly have been her fault.

"Amy . . ."

She just stood there, head bowed, trembling. "It _was _my fault! If . . . if I hadn't said I was tired – if I hadn't begged you to carry me home just because I liked it – then you wouldn't have been slowed down, and that dart would never have hit you! It's _my _fault! _I_ did it!"

"Amy," Sonic stated, trying to get her attention. When she didn't look up her tried again, "Amy Rose, _look_ at me."

She did, tears still sparkling in her eyes. "What, Sonikku?"

Sonic smiled reassuringly, "It wasn't your fault, Amy."

Amy started to protest, "Yes it is; weren't you listen-" she was stopped by Sonic tapping a finger to her lips.

"No, it wasn't and you'd better listen to me before I get sick of trying to say this and get out of here: the only one I blame for this is Eggman. He's the one who fired those darts, after all . . . unless you have some reason to want to kill me that I don't know about," Sonic teased.

"But - " Amy started again, guilt still easily readable in her eyes.

"No buts. I don't blame you, so you can't blame yourself. Got it?"

Reluctantly, Amy smiled. "Got it." Then a true smile worked its way onto her face, and on an impulse, she leaned over and kissed the blue hedgehog on the cheek. He was halfway across the room before she could blink.

"_Amy_," he protested, blushing. "Don't _do_ that!"

Amy Rose laughed, "Do you want a free breakfast or not, Sonikku?"

"Of course I do, but, _Amy_. . ."

The pink hedgehog rolled her eyes, "Oh come on. You know you like it." Then she went back into the kitchen to fix a new breakfast, leaving behind a spluttering, embarrassed Sonic staring after her.

"I don't – what I mean is – I can't – _Amy!_"

**-End-**


	3. Lifeline

**Author's Note:** Okay, this one is most the one I"m most pleased with, and the one I'm the most nervous about. I'm pleased with it mostly because I had such a great time just writing it (Mainly because this is something I always have enjoyed happening to Sonic for some reason. I'm evil, I guess. XD), and I'm nervous simply because of the fact that Sonic is probably pretty OOC in it; my only defense is that something like what happens to him has_ massive_ emotional impact; and by the time the final scene takes place, it's been a year or two. Time can change people, but usually only when it's aided by events, such as it is in this story.

I also have a strong desire to actually make a seperate series following this storyline, because there's still things that are begging to be told. You'll probably see what I mean when you read it. Warnings for this include emotional trauma on behalf of Sonic, and . .. well, this one is most definitely SonAmy, more so than anything else I've ever written. You can't ignore it either, as it's one of the central ideas.

But, oh, I am _so_ worried about how this one will be received. I rewrote it about three times before I finally got it set up how I liked; so I put quite a bit more creative effort into 'Lifeline' than I have into any of the others. Be warned, also - this is my first time to try and write dialogue from a 1st-person perspective; also, this is kind of a story-within-a-story. . . but at the same time, it's not. You'll see.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, however much I hug and squeeze and love 'em forever and try to rip their heads off.

* * *

Sonic watched at Robo Knux drew ever closer to the bubbles where he and Amy Rose were imprisoned, unable to act, unable to speak, unable to do anything other than quake in terror at what was to come. The sadistic robot was obviously enjoying himself, taking his time, savoring the moment as he moved toward the bubble that held his next victim, relishing the fear that was reflected in the captive hedgehog's green eyes. Sonic shuddered, closing his eyes and folding his ears so he wouldn't see the sick pleasure in the electronic eyes, and so he wouldn't hear the sound of metal piercing flesh.

Neither of these things blocked out the pain.

**Lifeline**

_Sometimes, you think you know a person inside and out - every little thing about them, from the color of their eyes to the way they think. Then something comes along, something so life-altering that it forces you to see the world in an entirely different perspective, and you realize: you don't know this person as well as you thought you did._

_The person you thought to be rather helpless is really one of the strongest people you've ever known, and the shallowest person has hidden depths. Someone you thought would always depend on you becomes the one to support you through your weakest moments. A person who you thought never saw past the masks you wore actually sees the real you, right down to the very core of your being._

_It was like that with Amy Rose._

"This is stupid," Sonic moaned, scratching the side of his muzzle with his pencil. "She's just going to wind up laughing at me, I know it. This is never going to work . . ." He sighed, and stared into space for a minute. Then he shrugged and went back to writing.

_I don't know why I was so wrong about her; I guess I just didn't have the patience to stick around and get to know her. That's another thing I've learned over the past year: patience. It used to be that 'patience' was my exact opposite. 'Impatient' didn't even begin to describe me. _

_Sometimes I wonder how anyone ever put up with me._

_But, yeah, this last year, Amy's been surprising me left and right._

_The first of the surprises came not long after **it** happened. I think it was about two weeks afterwards, and I was still in the hospital, not doing anything but feeling sorry for myself. Looking back on it, I'm pretty ashamed of how I acted. Whenever someone came to see me, I'd either completely ignore him or her, or I'd lose my temper and just . . . go off on them. I know that doesn't sound like me, but I wasn't exactly feeling like myself just then._

_Anyway, that day, Tails and Amy Rose both came in at about the same time. Tails, poor kid, had a hard time even looking at me. He tried, I know he did, but hey – he's still young and seeing me was pretty hard on everyone at that point in time. Looking back on it, I could kick myself for how I treated him, but at the time I was too wrapped up in my own little private ball of misery to see anyone else's pain._

_I don't remember exactly how it started, because for the first part of the visit I was zoned out in my own little world. I do know that Tails and Amy both tried talking to me, trying to get me to react – to show them that I was still there and still **me**, I guess. I'm not sure. That continued for a little while, but then Tails said something that actually caught my attention._

"_- And, Sonic, I'm gonna try and work on an invention that'll make you walk again."_

_As you can probably imagine, **that** snapped me back to reality in a hurry._

"_Wait, what?" I asked, finally turning my head and noticing them. I almost couldn't believe my own ears; did Tails really say something about an invention to make me walk again? _

_The kid was so thrilled by the fact that I acknowledged him that he could barely get anything out of his mouth for the next few minutes._

"_Uh-huh - Sonic – I'm – I mean, I think I- what I mean is-"_

_I rolled my eyes - back then I was still pretty low in the patience department. "Yeah, yeah, kiddo. Spit it out already; I'm wasting away here."_

_Which, in retrospect, probably wasn't the best thing to say._

_Tails took a deep breath, I assume to calm himself, and tried again. "I think I might be able to invent something that could . . . reroute the signals in your spinal chord. See, your brain's still sending the signals; they're just not getting through. If I could come up with something that bridged the gap, then the signals would get through to your legs and you'd be able to run again!"_

_Now I was definitely interested, but I wasn't concerned with the technicalities; I'd let Tails worry about how it was done – all I cared about was that it happened, and how soon it would occur._

"_How long do you think it'll take you, Tails?" I asked, more curious than anything else. I felt better than I had in weeks – finally, I had something to hope for. This wasn't necessarily permanent after all. I might even be out fighting Eggman again by next week! My mind was already running through the list of places I'd go, the taunts I'd use on Eggman, the adventures that I was sure were waiting for me, just around the corner._

_But the seconds dragged on, and Tails didn't answer my question. His ears folded back and he refused to look at me, and I knew that I wouldn't like what I was going to hear._

"_Um, well, Sonic, it could be a little while. I have to study how the spinal chord works, figure out a substance that can interpret the signals your body sends, and find a way to attach it so it doesn't hurt you, not to mention locate a power source, unless I can discover a way for your body to power it - "_

"_How **long**?" My irritation was growing, mostly because the idea that I'd be back to my normal life in a week was becoming a smaller possibility by the second._

_Tails seemed to wilt under my comment, and he didn't reply immediately. When he did, he spoke very slowly and so quietly that I could barely hear him._

"_My best estimate is anywhere from two to five years, and that's if I manage to find everything I need to even attempt it . . . it . . . might never happen."_

_This, of course, was **not** what I wanted to hear. I went ballistic._

"**_What do you mean 'two to five years'? _**_That's practically forever – how do you expect me to wait that long? Do you think Eggman's going to sit around and __**wait** for me to get **better **before he attacks? That isn't going to **work**, Tails! You might as well have not told me anything; you got my hopes up and all for **nothing**!"_

"_Sonic, I - " Man, the look on the kit's face . . . if I hadn't been so closed off to everybody else's feelings at that point, that would have had me apologizing instantly. As it was, it cooled me off considerably, and I faced the wall so I wouldn't have to see the tears that were flowing down my best friend's face – tears that I caused._

"_Just. . . go home, Tails. Leave me alone."_

_Without another word, Tails turned and left the room. A part of me wanted to call him back and tell him I didn't mean it, I was grateful, really I was, but I was hurting and two to five years was just such a long **time**. (I didn't let myself think about the "it might never happen" part of his estimate.) For some reason, though, I didn't. _

_That was when Amy surprised me. She had been so quiet during the chewing out I gave Tails that I somehow forgot she was there. Boy, did it ever shock me when she came over and slapped me full on the face. There was no awe in her eyes, no pity. All that was there was fury. I'd never seen her so angry, at least not with me – annoyed at times, yes, but never this burning rage that looked like she wanted to tear me apart! It was more than enough to make me listen to every word she had to say._

"_Sonic the Hedgehog, I am astounded by you! Tails is doing everything he can to make **you **feel better, to help **you** get your feet back under you, to get **you** out of this emotional **dung pile **you've buried yourself in, and you treat him like **that**? He's your **best friend**, Sonic, and he's hurting too – we all are. Doesn't his pain matter? Or is it all about **you, **and how you feel? I don't think I need to tell you this, but I will anyway – you're losing your friends, Sonic. Knuckles, Tails – you're even starting to get to me. We care about you, Sonic, but all you're doing is pushing us away."_

_I really had no reply to this, and even if I did I doubt I could have said anything. I couldn't even look her in the eyes. She stared at me for a moment, and seemed to be studying me. Finally, she took a deep breath, which seemed to calm her down, and a light came on in her eyes. It's like she understood something that even I didn't know – I still have no clue how she realized it. But all of a sudden she sat down next to me, took my hand and started speaking again._

"_That's what you want, isn't it, Sonikku? You want to drive everyone away so that they don't **want** to help you. That's really what this is all about – you're hurting so badly but you don't want anyone's help! Well, nothing like that's going to happen on my watch, Sonikku; you can't drive me off no matter what you say or do. Whether you like it or not, I'm going to help you through this."_

_It was like she had penetrated through every defense I've ever had, and brought them down all in one instant. I wasn't sure what to say, or what to do. Even what I felt at that moment is hard to describe. It was like . . . wonder, fear, pain and relief all mixed into one big emotional mess. Have you ever heard the saying 'the dam burst'? Well, that's what it was like for me. I'd spent so much of my life holding back any negative emotion I had, both for my benefit and the benefit of my friends, that I just couldn't deal with the feelings that were overwhelming me._

"_A-Amy," I whispered, noticing that my throat was oddly tight and that my eyes felt more wet than usual. Amy just smiled and did something, which, under normal conditions, would have at least made me flinch: she ran a hand over my head quills and kissed my forehead._

"_Everything will work out eventually, Sonikku; I know it will."_

_That was the statement that sent me over the edge . . . Suffice it to say that I wound up bawling my eyes out for the next few hours. Oddly enough, it helped; I felt better afterwards and even called Tails to apologize. He was more than willing to forgive me; which is more than I could probably say if our situations were reversed. The kit has a good heart._

Sonic paused in his writing to look up at the clock. "Whew – I still have an hour. Maybe I'll get this finished after all." He stretched his arms out for a minute, then wiggled his fingers, trying to get some of the stiffness out of them. After about ten seconds, he went back to writing.

_The second time Amy surprised me was about a month later. I was finally getting out of the hospital after a very long, not to mention extremely unpleasant and humiliating, stay. Unfortunately, despite being glad to be getting out of that place, I was not looking forward to returning to the world. One of the reasons I had been kept in the hospital for so long was that Robo Knux hadn't been content with just severing my spine – he decided to test the results of his 'operation' by seeing where I still had feeling. He did it in a manner typical of his sadistic personality: tearing into my legs, arms, and even once across my stomach._

_I recovered, of course, but it left some pretty nasty scars that showed through my fur. Me being myself . . . well, it did not sit too well with this hedgehog. I was already having trouble enough thinking of the stares people would give me when they saw their hero in a wheelchair, without adding the stares I'd get because of my scars to them. Now, normally, I don't care what people think so much, and I'm not too bothered by things like that anymore, but at the time I was scared stiff._

_I didn't breathe a word of this fear to anyone. Now, another thing you need to know, is that checking out of a hospital takes a **long** time. I was supposed to get out at eleven-thirty, but they didn't even give me the check out forms until noon. _

_Amy was with me again, but for some reason nobody else was; when I asked where Tails and Knuckles were Amy didn't really give me an answer. She just said they were busy and left it at that. The fact that they weren't there had me more than a little irritated, but it was overwhelmed by the anxiety I felt. (As it turns out, the reason why they weren't there is because they were setting up a party in the house they'd bought for me.)_

_Anyway, when the nurse came with the clipboard of forms to fill out, I was shaking so badly I could barely write._

"_Sonikku, is everything all right?"_

_I blushed, ashamed of telling her what it was that had me so upset, and nodded. "Uh-huh, just ready to get out of this place is all."_

_She blinked, but seemed to take my word for it. "Okay. If you say so. Um, Sonikku?"_

"_Yeah, Amy?" I asked, trying to make sense of the forms I was holding, and not really paying attention to her._

"_I need to run down to the store and pick something up really quick – will you be alright until I get back?"_

_I stopped writing and looked over at her. "What, exactly, are you needing to pick up?"_

_She didn't meet my eyes as she replied, "Just some . . . stuff. I should be less than an hour. I don't think you'll be out before then, do you?"_

"_No," I replied, miffed that she picked today of all days to go shopping. "Go ahead."_

_She smiled then, and hugged me, clipboard and all. "Thank you, Sonikku."_

_I was still blushing when she walked out the door. _

_While she was gone, I tried to concentrate on the forms I had to fill out, but my mind kept wondering to the ordeal that lay ahead. It insisted on running through every possible situation it could think of, none of them with good results. Finally, fifteen minutes and fifteen million mental scenarios later, I finished filling out the forms, gave them to the nurse that was on call, and tried to calm down. It didn't work._

_Amy came back about half an hour after I finished the forms, and she was literally glowing. Surprisingly, she only held one shopping bag. _

"_Hi, Sonikku," She said, smiling. "Holding up okay?"_

_I nodded, hiding my hands behind my head so she couldn't see how badly they were shaking. "I'm cool. So, what was it you had to go buy, anyway?"_

_She smiled wider, if it were possible, and dumped the bag on my bed. "Something for you."_

"_Huh?" Was my intelligent reply._

"_Just look in the bag, Sonikku," She replied, oozing patience with every syllable._

_Curiosity getting the better of me, I pulled open the bag and peeked inside, then looked over at Amy. She must have noticed how confused I was, because she giggled. "Aren't you going take them out?" I did so, drawing out, one by one, a long-sleeved brown shirt, long black pants, and a bright green vest._

"_Erm, Amy – what am I supposed to do with these?"_

_All right, I admit that was a pretty stupid question. But let's not forget that I was rather. . . distracted at the time._

"_You wear them, silly!"_

_I looked at Amy, at the clothes, then at Amy again. "Okay . . . but, how?"_

_Now before you go and think this is another stupid question, you have to remember that up to this point I'd never worn anything other than my gloves, socks, shoes, and occasionally a jacket. So I had a right to be a little unsure in this situation._

_Amy must have realized where I was coming from, because she grabbed the shirt from me. "Let me help you, Sonikku."_

_I'm . . . not going to go into how I responded to **that **suggestion. I wound up trying to do it myself and did okay with the shirt and vest, but I did wind up needing assistance on the pants, since I wasn't very good at working with my lifeless limbs a that point in time. (I wound up getting my **male **nurse to help, though – not Amy.)_

_Surprisingly, everything fit perfectly. How Amy knew what sizes I wore . . . let's just say there are some things everyone (Including myself) are better off not knowing._

"_So why did you buy these, Amy?" The question was pretty much out of the blue, since Amy and I had been sitting in silence for the last few minutes, waiting for the orderly that would escort us to the exit, but it was a question that I was dying to know the answer to. Amy shrugged and looked away, as if she were thinking about it._

"_Promise me you won't get mad, Sonikku?"_

_I blinked in confusion, "Okay, sure. I promise. But why?"_

"_I . . . saw how nervous you were today, and I thought it might have had something to do with your scars. I thought that if you had some nice clothes that covered them up, you might feel better and be able to calm down. I'm sorry if I was wrong, Sonikku. I just want you to feel better."_

_She sounded so dejected in her last sentence that I couldn't help myself – I reached over and took her hand. "They do help, Amy. Thanks."_

_Of course that would be when the orderly walked in. I dropped Amy's hand so fast it looked like I'd never been holding it. Not that it did anything about that fact that we were both blushing. The orderly, thank goodness, took no notice. She was a brown tabby cat, and had this huge smile on her face that looked like it'd been painted on – it reminded me of a clown's smile, to be honest._

"_Good afternoon, Mr. Hedgehog – are you ready to get out of here?" The 'Mr. Hedgehog' comment made me wince (What was I? Forty?) but I decided to ignore it, for the moment. "You have all your forms filled out, right? And you understand that you're still going to need to come in regularly for checkups?"_

_I rolled my eyes, now definitely irritated. I did not appreciate being reminded of unpleasant subjects. "Yes, yes, and can I **go** now?"_

"_Sonikku!" Amy interjected, giving me a scolding look. She turned to the orderly and apologized, "Sorry, ma'am, Sonikku's just - "_

_The orderly waved her off, "No big deal; I'd want to get out of here too if I were him. Now, if you could just wait another minute while I go find a wheelchair. . ."_

_She started out of the room, but Amy caught up to her and stopped her._

"_Um, ma'am? Could you," Amy looked over at me, and then whispered something I couldn't hear. The orderly smiled wider, nodded, and headed out of the room. As Amy came over and sat back down, I questioned her._

"_What was that all about?"_

"_You'll see," She said, sounding immensely pleased with herself. It wasn't long before the orderly came back, pushing a wheelchair that was most definitely **not** hospital regulation. It was really flashy, and looked like the ones that athletes used. The seat part of it was bright red, and both the handles and wheels were a golden color. I thought for a second that it looked pretty cool. That's when I realized that it was **mine** – the one I would probably spend the rest of my life in, and it didn't look so flashy anymore._

_I must have looked at depressed as I felt, because Amy came over and hugged me._

"_Don't worry, Sonikku - it's okay if you don't like it that much. It's understandable."_

_She understood. About everything. And I never said a word to her about any of it. _

_That still surprises me today._

Sonic paused and read over what he'd just written. "This almost makes me want to gag – it's so _sappy. _Guess it's a good thing she likes this kind of stuff." He glanced at the clock again, then turned back to the notebook. "Wow – this is getting pretty long. And it's about to get longer," he sighed, putting pencil to paper once more.

_It was six months ago when I finally realized how much I'd come to depend on Amy, and just how much I really needed her. _

_When I first got out of the hospital, I found out that my friends had pooled their funds to buy and modify the house next door to Amy's. To this day I don't know how much it cost, but it was probably pretty expensive, since it's a fairly large house, and the modifications to it to make it easier for me to live in couldn't have been cheap._

_If I'd known about it beforehand, I most likely would have refused it, because I didn't see the point in having a house. Before, I didn't really have a "home", at least not in the traditional sense of the word. I just slept wherever I felt like, whenever I felt like it. Obviously, that area of my lifestyle underwent one of the biggest changes, and I'm extremely thankful my friends thought of it._

_During those first few months, Amy could almost always be found at my house, mostly checking up on me and making certain I would eat, take medications and things like that. She had to, because I'd forget a lot. I was still pretty moody most of the time back then, although I was starting to get depressed a little less often. I'd like to say the reason I've recovered so well is because of me, and my personal philosophy of not focusing on the past, but that would be a lie. I did a **lot **of 'focusing on the past', and still have a tendency to do so on certain occasions. _

_Amy was the glue that held me together, and she still is. Without her, I would fall apart at the seams. At that time, I didn't realize just how much I needed her; I took her for granted. I knew that she was always around, keeping me alive, cheering me up, etc., but I didn't realize what would happen if she wasn't there. _

_I think that's why it was so hard on me when she left._

_For most of the time I'd been recovering, Eggman had been pretty quiet – it was almost like he'd given up on conquering the world, now that his main obstacle was out of the way. Who knows what his reasons were, but the fact remains that for six months, nothing happened. I was too focused on my own problems at that point to worry about what Eggman was doing, but I don't know what to say for the others. Probably it was the same thing. _

_Well, whatever the reason, we let our guards down, just long enough for Eggman to make his move. Tails was the first one to spot the 'bots. Oddly enough, they weren't new inventions or anything – they were the same design he'd used in his last take-over attempt. I guess he thought he didn't need to upgrade, what with me out of the way. The first thing Tails did was try to contact Amy. _

_This meant he had to reach her at my house; something he didn't want to do. I didn't know it, but Tails, Amy, and Knuckles had all agreed that if Eggman were to cause trouble, they were to keep news of it from me at all costs. They didn't want me to hurt myself trying to do something I couldn't do. I can't say I blame them – they meant well, after all._

_Still, Tails didn't have much of a choice, so he went ahead and called my house, hoping that Amy would answer the phone. Unfortunately for him, that wasn't what happened._

"_Hello?"_

"_H-hey, Sonic."_

"_Hey, little bro'. What's up?"_

_I was bored at the time, and looking for a distraction, so I was really eager to talk to Tails. But for some reason I couldn't help but think that Tails sounded nervous about talking to me. Maybe it was the slight hesitance in his voice when he replied,_

"_Oh, nothing much. Is Amy there? 'Cause I really, really need to talk to her."_

_Now I knew something was up – Tails 'really, really needed' to talk to Amy? That put my senses on alert, but not as much as when I went to find Amy in the kitchen, where she was baking some kind of brownies, and handed her the phone, saying that Tails wanted to speak with her._

_At first, she smiled, "Hey Tails; what's going on?" Then her face darkened, "Uh-oh; really? How many? . . . You're kidding! Not even he would send out that many – no, no, you were right to ask me. Sure, I'll help; have you contacted Knuckles yet? Yeah; we can meet there. Do you know of someone who could stay with – Oh, Vanilla? Yeah, that would be a good idea. I'll give her a call now. Yes, I'll be there in about fifteen minutes, give or take. Take care! Bye."_

_She hung up the phone and frowned at it for a minute. I was definitely alarmed now, and stopped her before she could start dialing Vanilla Rabbit's phone number._

"_All right, what's going on?"_

_I think I scared her, because she jumped about a foot in the air at my question. Her mouth opened and closed a few times with nothing coming out, making her look like a fish out of water. Then she smiled, but if she meant it to reassure me, then it didn't work, because it looked like someone had pasted it on._

"_N-nothing! Nothing's going on! Why would you ask that, Sonikku?"_

_I may not always be the smartest hedgehog around, but I'm not an idiot. I knew what she was trying to hide, and had an idea of why she was trying to hide it from me. (Admittedly, that idea was way off base, but oh well, you can't win them all.)_

"_It's Eggman, isn't it?"_

_Although she said, "No," I could tell by the way her voice shook that it was. I just stared at her until finally she sighed and gave in._

"_Yes, Sonikku. It is. Tails wants me to go help fight him; it's going to take everyone we can round up to stop him this time."_

"_You can't go!" It was out of my mouth before I really knew what I was saying. Honestly, I didn't know how much I meant it until I had said it and was staring up at Amy's shocked face, my own flushed with embarrassment._

"_Sonikku?" The only emotion in her voice was concern._

"_Uh – what I mean is – are you sure it's really a good idea for you to go? If something happened, I wouldn't be there to protect you and - "_

"_. . . Do you not think I can take care of myself?" She questioned, eyes flashing in anger. Oops. Wrong thing to say. _

_I shook my head rapidly, "No, that's not what I meant at all! What I meant was . . . what I meant. . ." Knowing what I wanted to say didn't make it any easier, especially when Amy frowned in worry._

"_You can tell me, Sonikku. You know that."_

" _. . . I just . . . I don't think I could handle it if something happened to you, all right? I," I paused, my ears flattening out as I scowled, angry at myself both for the way I felt and for being such a coward about confessing. "You're the only . . . . the only thing that keeps me alive anymore, Amy. If I lost you . . . well, I don't think I could stand it." I couldn't look at her, and found my eyes watering, which only added to my embarrassment._

"_Oh, Sonikku. . ." All of a sudden Amy was kissing me – and not on the forehead or the cheek either. It didn't last very long; after a few seconds she pulled away and I could see that she was crying. "I . . . Sonikku, I have to go."_

_I sighed, looking away, "I know you do. It's just – if I could be out there. . ."_

_She smiled then, "You will someday, Sonikku. I'm sure of it."_

_Nothing was said between us after that. Amy called Vanilla, who agreed to come over and keep me company, although I wasn't too thrilled about that. After that, she left, and I watched her go, feeling like the most useless thing on the face of the planet for not being able to help. I don't want to think about how hard a time I must have given Vanilla – I felt so pathetic, was so worried, and was so angry about not being able to help out that I was a pain to be around. I know I yelled at her more than a few times; I'm just glad she was so patient with me. _

_But you know what? They wound up defeating him anyway. Somehow they managed to get Rouge and Shadow both to help – how they did it, I'll never know. They didn't come out of it completely unscathed, (Tails had a laser wound on his left side, Knuckles limped for about a week and a half, and Amy's left arm was in a sling for two weeks – I flipped out when I first saw it. I don't know if Shadow or Rouge were hurt; I never saw them.) but they did it. I thought I'd be disappointed that I hadn't really been needed, but frankly, I was just glad it was over._

Sonic wiped a bit of sweat from his forehead and checked the clock again. "Oh man, she'll be here any second and I'm not ready!" He hurriedly turned back to his notebook and wrote a few more paragraphs. He had just laid the pencil down and breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the front door creak open.

"Sonikku?"

"In here, Ames!" He called, waving to her through the open bedroom door. Amy blushed at the nickname as she walked inside, a vaguely concerned look on her face. She was dressed in much the same way as she always did, save that her quills had grown much longer.

"Why did you want me to wait to come over until now, Sonikku? You've had me worried. . ."

Sonic grinned, and pushed himself away from his writing desk, wheeling himself over to his girlfriend. "Sorry for worrying you, but I think you'll like what I've got to show for it."

"A present, Sonikku? You shouldn't have!"

Sonic laughed, hoping he didn't sound as nervous as he felt, "Well, it's not exactly a present. Could you read through that notebook on my writing desk and tell me what you think?"

Amy rolled her eyes in mock exasperation, "I should have known the only reason you wanted to see me was to get me to edit one of your stories!"

Sonic shrugged, "Hey, you were the one who got me into writing, remember?"

"It was supposed to be therapeutic – I didn't know you'd turn into a novelist!"

"Funny how people change, isn't it?" Sonic said with a straight face, but he couldn't keep the laughter out of his eyes.

Amy sighed, "Fine, fine, I'll read it." She made a show up stomping over to the desk, picking up the notebook and nonchalantly flipping through the pages, but eventually started reading it for real. When her eyes fell on the last few paragraphs, they widened in shock. She blinked, and stared at Sonic, who was grinning like a madman the whole time, then turned back to the last few paragraphs. "Is this .. . some sort of joke, Sonikku?"

Sonic shook his head. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Ames."

She shoved the notebook in his face, and pointed to a particular section. Her voice was shaking.

"I mean this! . . . Do you . . .really mean it?"

Sonic looked at the section Amy had pointed out, the section he had hastily scribbled down just before she walked in the door, and read it over.

_I guess what I'm trying to say, more than anything else, is that I had to have everything that defined me stripped away before I could really begin to see what I needed to see. I have no doubt that if my life hadn't been changed so drastically and so suddenly, I would never have really known Amy Rose._

_I certainly wouldn't have fallen in love with her – not the real her, anyway. Maybe with the version of Amy I saw, but it wouldn't have been the real thing, and I don't doubt it wouldn't have lasted very long. I dunno; maybe I'm being pessimistic. I do think it would have taken a lot longer for me to grow up; things like this have a way of speeding up the maturing process._

_As it is, though, I did fall in love with her, and I fell in love with the real Amy – the Amy that's smart, brave, determined, and the most understanding individual I've ever known. The main reason I'm writing this, though, isn't so much to describe Amy's good points (Of which she has many), or to sing her praises (Although it might seem like it here and there), or even just to tell a story. _

_The main reason I'm writing this is to ask a question. Amy, if you're reading this (I know you are.), look in the right-hand drawer of my writing desk, then read the question written below. No peeking at it until you've looked in the desk, now!_

Sonic smiled, "I think you'd better follow my directions."

"Will you explain then, Sonikku?" Amy asked, even as she dropped the notebook on Sonic's lap and turned to open the drawer. "You're not making any se - " She fell silent as she pulled out a small, velvet covered box. "Is this . . . is this what I think it is?"

"It depends on what you think it is," Sonic replied, eyes dancing.

Amy hesitantly opened the box, to reveal a ring studded with rubies and emeralds, formed in the shape of a rose. She gasped, her eyes appearing three times larger than their normal size.

"This must have cost a fortune! Is _this _what you spent all of that money from your book on, Sonikku?"

Sonic seemed to smile even wider, if it were possible, "You'll never know for sure unless I tell you." Suddenly his smile disappeared, replaced by a look Amy couldn't identify. "Do you have an answer to my question?" He asked, handing her back the notebook, opened to the last written page.

She glanced over it and blinked, "What question are you talking about, Sonikku?"

He blinked, "The one in the notebook – wait, don't tell me I forgot to write it!" He groaned.

Amy giggled, "It doesn't matter – I know what your question was, and the answer's yes."

Sonic didn't seem to hear her, "And I had it worked out so well, too! I can't believe I forgot to write it down!"

"Sonikku."

"After all the time I spent planning this, I manage to mess it up within five minutes!"

"Sonikku!"

"This is just great – does nothing work out on this planet!"

"**_Sonic!"_**

Finally, Sonic snapped out of his private world and looked up at Amy, the embarrassment on his face easy to see. "Ames, I'm sorry. . . this isn't going how I wanted it to at all. I - "

Amy sighed, "I know what your question is Sonikku; it really doesn't matter, though, because the answer's yes."

"Yes what?" Sonic asked, playing the ignorant once again.

"Yes I will marry you!"

Later that evening, after all of their friends had been duly informed, Amy and Sonic sat together on Sonic's couch, Sonic having been hauled onto it by Amy. Amy was stroking Sonic's quills and Sonic was fiddling with hers. Sonic had been in a state of mild shock all day, unable to completely believe that Amy had accepted him even though he was nothing like he once was. They had been sitting there, lost in a comfortable silence for about an hour when Sonic broke the silence

"Hey Amy, do you think Tails will ever figure out how to build that invention?"

"The one that will make you walk?"

Sonic sighed, his eyes going glassy as his mind turned inward. "Uh-huh . . ."

Amy paused in her rhythmic stroking and thought for a minute. "I honestly don't know, Sonikku. I wish I could say yes, for his sake as much as yours because he's trying so hard, but since he keeps getting interrupted whenever Eggman attacks . . . if he does, it's still a long while off." Sonic closed his eyes and leaned back against Amy, but opened them again a few minutes later when he heard Amy sigh sadly.

"What's wrong, Ames?"

She turned to look out the window, frowning. "Sonikku . . . do you ever regret the choice you made that night?"

Sonic thought about it for several minutes, then replied slowly, ". . . Robo Knux's goal that night wasn't to kill me, you know; it was to destroy me by taking away what I loved the most."

"Then . . . he succeeded, didn't he?"

Sonic smiled, shifting his weight so he could pull his fiancée's face down to his for a kiss.

"No, Ames. He didn't."

-End-


	4. Penitence

**Author's Note:** Ugh. . . Honestly, I hate this one. It was a pain to write, a pain to edit, and I still didn't achieve what I wanted to with it. About the only thing I think I might have managed was the emotion in it, but overall I'm pretty disappointed, and I won't be surprised if you all are too. Main warnings are extremely depressive content (I listened to 'My Immortal' on repeat while I wrote it. ) and (non-graphic - I don't do gore) character death. Personally, I think it's pretty OOC (One of my personal absolute no-nos if I can help it.) but I was trying to capture what could have been going through Sonic's mind . . . .

Sill, this piece just . . .. _ugh_. I hate it, I really do. But I'll post it here anyway because I need to cover all three possibilities. Then it's out of my hair and I'll be on to much better ideas, of which I have three or four. . . . or five. XD Not all of them may wind up written, but at least a few will. Here's hoping they're better than this nasty thing!

**Disclaimer: **Much loved, much tortured, never mine. How sad!

* * *

Sonic watched at Robo Knux drew ever closer to the bubbles where he and Amy Rose were imprisoned, unable to act, unable to speak, unable to do anything other than quake in terror at what was to come. The sadistic robot was obviously enjoying himself, taking his time, savoring the moment as he moved toward the bubble that held his next victim, relishing the fear that was reflected in the captive hedgehog's green eyes. Sonic shuddered, closing his eyes and folding his ears so he wouldn't see the sick pleasure in the electronic eyes, and so he wouldn't hear the sound of metal piercing flesh. 

The guilt tore him apart.

**Penitence**

You know the saying "You never know what you have until it's gone"? There's more truth in that statement than the speaker ever realized. I know I never knew how much I cared for Amy Rose until she lay dying in my arms from Robo Knux's attack . . . an attack that was my fault for being a weak fool. I can still remember that night as clearly as if it happened five minutes ago; Robo Knux, knowing that Amy's wounds were fatal and there was nothing I could do to save her, set me free; the first thing I did was run over to her and gather her up in my arms. She was still alive at that point . . .

"_S – Son – ikku . . ." Her breaths were fast and shallow, and her eyes were glazed over. I wasn't sure if she could really see me, but I smiled anyway, trying to reassure both her and myself. _

"_Ssh, Amy . . . you're . . . you're gonna be fine – I'm gonna get you out of here – " I choked up, and couldn't continue. Amy was shaking her head slightly, denying my weak attempts at comfort, but there was a smile on her face that I'll never forget, not as long as I live._

"_No – Son. . . I - won't . . ." _

"_Yes you will! You **have** to – I didn't mean it, Amy; I didn't mean to choose you! I didn't! I **didn't**!"_

_What she said then shattered me, "You. . . made th-the righ. . . t choice, Sonik-ku; the world n-needs y. . you more than i-it does me. . . Sonikku. . ." Then it was like a light went out in her body, and she stopped breathing._

_Amy Rose was dead._

I don't remember anything else that happened that night. Tails told me that he got an anonymous call about my whereabouts, and when he found me I was just sitting there, still holding Amy, staring at nothing, and mumbling apologies. He told me that he couldn't make me snap out of it; that he called for an ambulance because I had him so worried. I have no reason to doubt that that's what happened.

The weeks that followed are all pretty blurry, with the exception of memories that are all mixed up and out of order. I remember Amy's funeral, and that I was angry so few people showed up. She deserved a citywide memorial service at the least, not a gathering of less than a dozen; after all, she was more heroic than I could ever be, and I knew it.

I just found that out too late.

Eggman attacked sometime after that, and I can't stand thinking about what almost happened. All I could think about was that he was the main reason Amy was dead; that he was the cause of her, and everyone's suffering. I went postal – I . . . I nearly killed him. I would have, too, if Shadow hadn't stopped me.

I don't know how he got there -he probably used Chaos Control- but he kept me from doing something I would have regretted. Eggman was on the ground, barely conscious, and his hovercraft was lying in pieces around him. I don't think I've ever seen him look so terrified of me, at least not when I wasn't Super. . .

"_You're the reason she's dead, Eggman! It's **your **fault!"_

"_You have to believe me; I never intended for my creation to do that- I gave no such orders! Please don't kill me!" It was the first time I ever heard the human beg. That should have stopped me in my tracks, but I was past caring._

"_Amy didn't beg when she died," I answered him, and was about to do what I thought I would never do when all of a sudden, Shadow was there, holding my arm and keeping me from moving._

"_Don't. It won't help."_

I didn't have to ask him how he knew.

Eggman was in the hospital for a long while after that; I don't know what he's doing now, but he hasn't tried to conquer the world since. It's been about nine months since then, and everyone's moved on, got on with their lives. Everyone except for me, that is.

I'm just . . . kind of drifting.

I dunno.

It's like everything in my life has lost its meaning. Running doesn't hold any joy for me anymore, not when I know what I sacrificed for it. Because Amy was _wrong_ – I wasn't being heroic; I wasn't thinking of the world when I made that choice; I was thinking of **myself**, and **only** myself.

It's my fault she's dead. It wasn't Eggman's fault, and it wasn't Robo Knux who killed her, really: it was me.

A **_hero._**

Sure.

She was the real hero – she was willing to **_die _**for the entire world, and me?

I couldn't even give up my **legs** for her.

Tails and Knuckles don't know this; they think I'm blaming myself for something that's not my fault. Tails has tried to talk me into seeing a therapist more than once, but I'm never going to go. After all, a therapist would try to help me, and I don't want – or need – anyone's help.

Tails has said I'm depressed; I never smile, never laugh, often forget to eat and don't do anything other than sleep or stare out the window. Maybe he's right. But if I am, it's only because I deserve it.

A while back, I decided to seek out Robo Knux – he'd disappeared sometime after the last fight with his master – and get him to do . . . something. I think I was hoping he'd either kill me or maim me, but I'm not sure. Everything blurs together in my mind, anymore. Well, almost everything . . .

I found him after weeks of searching the globe.

"_Robo Knux," I said, and the dead tone in my voice seemed to amuse him, because he sounded almost pleasant when he responded._

"_Hello hedgehog," He stated, looking me up and down. "Not doing too well, are we?" He asked, referring to my uncombed quills, the dark circles under my eyes, and my in general unkempt appearance._

"_Shut up," I growled. "I want you to do something for me."_

_If a robot could have rolled his eyes, I'm sure Robo Knux would have. "What on earth makes you think I'd be willing to do anything for **you**? Try to think sensibly, hedgehog."_

"_You'll like doing it, I promise." Something in my voice must have registered with him, because he took a few steps in my direction.  
_

"_Oh, now you have me interested. Go on – what would you like?"_

_I thought for a minute, struggling with the words; thinking was becoming harder by the day. _

"_I want. . . you to . . . do something to me – I don't care what. Maim me, kill me; whatever. Just do something."_

_His eyes lit up, and he appeared to seriously consider it. Then he shook his head. "Mmm; as tempting as that offer is, I'm afraid I have to decline."_

"_What? **Why**?" I was stunned. Mecha Knuckles turn down a chance to injure one of his worst enemies?_

"_Why, can't you tell? There's no way I could make you suffer any more than you already are, and all by your own hand, too! You're hurting yourself far worse than I ever could, and I'd rather not take action when it isn't needed. I have no reason to destroy you, you see. You're destroying yourself."_

_He flew off then, and I wound up heading back to Tails' workshop._

I've been here at Tails' ever since; never living, just existing. Tails is really worried about me now; I think he heard about why I left that time. He's on the phone in the other room, talking to Knuckles, and he thinks I can't hear. He's crying as he talks, because he wants to have me committed; apparently I'm too hard to deal with by himself, and he thinks that going to an asylum would help me.

At this point, I don't care if I get sent to one or not. They won't do anything to help me; I won't let them.

Because this is my penitence, and I won't let anyone stop me from atoning.

**-End-**


End file.
